But what do I love ?

No hobby

Before when I was wondering what my passions or interests were, the only answers that popped in my mind were shopping, watching TV, going out with people, going to restaurants… but isn’t it what everybody does casually to socialize or during their spare time. In the end, I only had spare time… I was feeling frustrated and empty.
When I became more conscious that I wanted to change my career, I realized that even out of my work I was not enjoying my life. My problem was deeper than just about my career. I thought that I was supposed to be having fun outside of my work. I wasted so much energy on disliking my work that I was left with no energy to enjoy my life outside of my work.

Another reason which explains why I had no passions, is that I had a very strict and close minded education. For my parents, the goal in life is to earn money, live comfortably and follow Chinese traditions. They never taught me to dream or to enjoy my life. As a consequence of such education, I’ve never allowed myself to experience much outside of the boundaries of my education.

Definitely passionate

I’ve heard people saying “you know if you have passions or not. If you had any passions, you would be aware of it.” I couldn’t conceive that I was a passionless person. I am such a passionate person with my husband, my friends, when I speak and simply when I go through my everyday life. Sometimes my feelings and my emotions are so strong and are rushing in me. I am sure I have passions. But what are they?
When I try to figure out my ideal life: I imagine I would have a dream job and some great activities outside of the job. I would be excited to wake up in the morning to do everything I like and be frustrated only because I wouldn’t have enough time during a day to enjoy my passions.

Do what you love, do it more

From my books of self-development, they often advise just to do what you love. Do what you love, do it more if you feel like to. Just go with the flow, don’t restrain yourself. Make some time to do it. If you like to paint, just paint. If you like to watch Swedish movies, watch as much as you want. If you don’t know what you love, go out and explore the world, try new things.
It is the most powerful advice from my point of view. For too long I’ve been pushed by the will to do well, to find a well paid job, to do like other people do… I’ve been disconnected from myself, what I like, my passions and who I am. Three months ago, I had no clue what my passions was. Now I gain more clarity thanks to this advice. This advice seems so natural but I couldn’t do anything without constantly thinking about people’s criticm.
Now I know what I love to do and I do it more and more. I’ll talk about it in another post 😉 Stay tuned!